The Unseen Path

I want to forewarn you that this post is long...and it has been hard to put into words. It is the product of a call to transparency that the Lord issued several years ago. The ladies who have shared the journey with me over the last several years will recognize it as such...but to the rest, I just wanted to give you fair warning.

This year I have been graciously endowed with a wonderful deer stand. My aunt is unable to hunt this season due to medical reasons and she knows how much I have enjoyed the few times that I have been privileged to hunt from her stand. When my dad called me with the news, I could hardly wait for season to open. This deer stand is set way back off the beaten path in the hardwoods and is a stone's throw from a wildlife refuge. I have only seen two nice bucks in the last six or seven years of hunting, one of which was from this stand.

To get to the deer stand you have to turn off the gravel road and take a woods road that winds and twists. Once you hit the open timber you turn onto a path that is not always discernible to the untrained eye. This path is basically wherever a four wheeler or an all terrain vehicle can get between the trees and around any big mud holes. Once you get past the stand the woods road becomes visible once again even though it is overgrown with tall grass.

This past October, Jim and I took a ride in the Samurai to check on the stand and see if anything needed to be done before season opened. The ride back into the woods was very peaceful and relaxing. It hadn't rained in awhile, so there were no big mud holes to worry about. At the first turn, I went a little too far down the woods road and had to circle back to try it again. Jim helped me spot the trail and I tried to stay on what looked like the path...but had to back up or take tight turns several times to get back on it. I finally came to a big tree that had fallen over and told Jim that we had made a wrong decision somewhere in the puzzle of trees, mud holes and four wheeler trails. I found my way back to the woods road and he showed me how to get back to the stand from another direction...entering on the grassy road.

Once we finished looking around and walking the area, we decided to go forward and try to find the path. Wouldn't you know it? We came right up on that fallen tree! We were on the right path all along. The funny thing is that my aunt could find that place in the pitch dark and I didn't know I was on the path when it was right there before me.

So, you ask...what does all this have to do with anything? Is this just transparency that admits to being directionally challenged?

The Lord reminded me of this 'scene' a few mornings ago as I sat with my devotional in hand. I had just finished reading how He gives us a promise, confirms it through His word/a trusted friend/advisor/circumstance, then He steps back and allows us time to practice faith. Sometimes His stepping back is accompanied by the attack of our enemy...sometimes it is a battle within that causes us to ask whether or not we really received the promise. Either way we have choices to make...will we believe and walk in faith? or will we doubt and fret and worry?

Since making the move out to the country we have been blessed beyond measure. The quiet of our surroundings, the sense of peace that has accompanied our every decision...it all seems to have been confirmation of His will for us. Not that this time has been without struggles, but from the big picture point of view the stress and struggles seem to stem from the vast amount of change that our family has gone through and the 'closeness' that we have shared in living quarters (5 people/1 bathroom...you do the math).

Yet, I personally feel as though I am on that 'unseen path'. It is as though I exited the woods road my last Sunday morning with the ladies in JOY. Nothing looks familiar or clear cut any more. It is not frightening, at least not yet...but it is so unfamiliar that I am not sure whether or not I have strayed too far to the left or the right. We have not even begun to look for a new church home. I could tell you that it is because of circumstances and would have plenty of examples to give...but honestly, I have just been tired and felt the need to rest for a little while. Maybe this unfamiliar place has something to do with the lack of regular fellowship and the sense of belonging that I left behind. Maybe it is normal after several years of studying for Sunday School lessons and suddenly not having one to attend, much less to teach. Maybe I just need a good filling of the Word of God preached and a time of lifting my voice in worship. Whatever it is...would you please pray that I would trust that the Father has me on His chosen path and that I would press on until the road becomes clear again? And if you know this path from your own experience, I would appreciate any insight or guidance that you could offer...as well as the prayers of one who has journeyed this way before.