Sleeping With The Lights On

What a night! I knew it was coming...yet it always catches me off guard.

I crawled into bed just before 11 pm last night. That is a little late for me...but with decorating the dining room table and posting, it wasn't too bad.

I picked up my newest parenting book and read the next chapter before dozing off around 11:30. (Yes, with two grown children and three barely at home, I still read parenting books.)

Just before 2 am I awoke with a start. As I lay there I could feel the fear rising up in my chest. Fear of what? I couldn't really put my finger on it. This happens from time to time...but usually it is brought on by a nightmare. I couldn't remember dreaming anything.

I listened intently to see if I could hear something out of the ordinary. Nothing....but the fear was growing.

I crept from my bed to the bedroom door. I was halfway expecting to see a Jason-like creature standing in my doorway...but nothing. (I don't watch scary movies, by the way. As you can see, I have an active enough imagination without them.)

I walked into the living area of our home. All the lights were left on. I guess Bri thought I would turn them off and I thought she would. I went to our sliding glass doors and peered into the night...nothing.

I turned off the kitchen light, the game room light and went back to my room.

After a stop in the bathroom, I slipped back between my sheets and began to pray for the fear to subside. I repeated the promises that the Lord is my strength and my shield. He is my protector and He never sleeps nor slumbers.

I began to doze back off, when suddenly I was bolted awake again by a strange smell. I was now able to be categorized as 'totally freaked out'. I thought I saw shadows above my bedroom door. The kind I usually see when someone is watching TV late at night. I slid back out of bed. I went back into the living room, I checked the laundry room, I checked the pantry, I checked the kids bathroom, I checked their rooms and then I started looking for my dogs.

I guess I have watched too many mystery movies, because I began to wonder if someone had poisoned them so that they wouldn't bark. (You can laugh....I know how crazy this sounds.) They came running from the other porch when I opened the back door. They were so happy to be paroled from outdoor banishment.

I went back to my room, turned on all the lights...checked every room, closet and corner before climbing back into bed. I left my bedroom door open this time. I would say that it was so I could hear anything going on in the house, but it was mostly because I wanted the light from the living room to shine into my room.

I suddenly felt like a four year old! I don't know why this fear grips me sometimes. It is most noticeable when Jim is gone...though I am not afraid of where we live. But it also happens at times when he is right there beside me, too.

I began to pray again. I drifted off around 4 am reminding myself that nothing can touch me that He cannot redeem and use to His glory.

All of that and I didn't even watch CSI last night!