Friday night, Bri and I just 'vegged' out in front of the television watching a few Chick Flicks while the guys were out fishing. That luxury is getting more and more rare as the boys now outnumber the girls in our household. We did take a little time to whip up a quick pasta dinner, but then we just piled up with blankets and chilled. It's great to have a girl around! (I missed her while she was gone for Spring Break.)
Saturday morning, I asked the Lord again to please open my eyes to see what was causing these feelings. And since we were expecting the whole family for a crawfish-turned-shrimp boil, I asked Him to please let me enjoy the time with them...whether or not the answer came. (And I am happy to say that He answered that prayer and we had a great afternoon.)
On Sunday morning though, heaviness still sat upon my spirit like a wet, wool blanket. I dressed for church out of pure obedience...though everything within me just wanted to stay home. I grumbled and complained in my heart through the first part of the service as I sat alone without a single person speaking to me. Not even the greeter at the door. Looked right past me. Didn't even hand me a bulletin with the sermon notes in it. Totally.Completely.ALONE.
I wondered why I came. I wondered if God even cared. I asked Him to soften my heart...to cut people some slack...and to answer the question that plagued me still, "why?".
And then, the pastor spoke about a visitor from a few weeks before. Another pastor and his wife who were in town to bury their daughter. The church surrounded them with prayer when they found out why they were there...but he told the Pastor that as they sat in church that Sunday morning, before anyone knew their circumstances, not a soul spoke to them. So, he made us stop and speak to someone we didn't know. To introduce ourselves and give a little background on why we were there.
God had heard my heart. (And I was more than a little embarrassed that I hadn't thought to start up a conversation with someone nearby myself!)
As I was driving to Meagan's to pick up her and Brianne for the last day of the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo (Kelli couldn't go), a piece of Scripture flitted though my head.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood
Oh my, why had I been so naive? Why had I not remembered that I have an adversary who prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour? What made me think that I could publicly share a decision to participate in Lent and think that it wouldn't be opposed?
The sermon yesterday was "God's Wake-Up Call" from Romans 13:8-14...and though I didn't realize it at the time I was listening to the pastor speak, I needed a wake-up call. I have been asleep for far too long!
And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. (Romans 13:11)
Please pray for me as I begin to once again flex the muscles of faith and to take up the full armor of God which has been neglected too long.
(Ephesians 6:12, 13; I Peter 5:8)
I'm linking up with Michelle at Graceful again today.