Monday, March 21, 2011

Sometimes I Forget...

Do you remember last Thursday's post? You know, the one about me feeling a little 'off'? Well, it didn't get any better over the weekend.

Friday night, Bri and I just 'vegged' out in front of the television watching a few Chick Flicks while the guys were out fishing. That luxury is getting more and more rare as the boys now outnumber the girls in our household. We did take a little time to whip up a quick pasta dinner, but then we just piled up with blankets and chilled. It's great to have a girl around! (I missed her while she was gone for Spring Break.)

Saturday morning, I asked the Lord again to please open my eyes to see what was causing these feelings. And since we were expecting the whole family for a crawfish-turned-shrimp boil, I asked Him to please let me enjoy the time with them...whether or not the answer came. (And I am happy to say that He answered that prayer and we had a great afternoon.)

On Sunday morning though, heaviness still sat upon my spirit like a wet, wool blanket. I dressed for church out of pure obedience...though everything within me just wanted to stay home. I grumbled and complained in my heart through the first part of the service as I sat alone without a single person speaking to me. Not even the greeter at the door. Looked right past me. Didn't even hand me a bulletin with the sermon notes in it. Totally.Completely.ALONE.

I wondered why I came. I wondered if God even cared. I asked Him to soften my heart...to cut people some slack...and to answer the question that plagued me still, "why?".

And then, the pastor spoke about a visitor from a few weeks before. Another pastor and his wife who were in town to bury their daughter. The church surrounded them with prayer when they found out why they were there...but he told the Pastor that as they sat in church that Sunday morning, before anyone knew their circumstances, not a soul spoke to them. So, he made us stop and speak to someone we didn't know. To introduce ourselves and give a little background on why we were there.

God had heard my heart. (And I was more than a little embarrassed that I hadn't thought to start up a conversation with someone nearby myself!)

As I was driving to Meagan's to pick up her and Brianne for the last day of the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo (Kelli couldn't go), a piece of Scripture flitted though my head.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood

Oh my, why had I been so naive? Why had I not remembered that I have an adversary who prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour? What made me think that I could publicly share a decision to participate in Lent and think that it wouldn't be opposed?

The sermon yesterday was "God's Wake-Up Call" from Romans 13:8-14...and though I didn't realize it at the time I was listening to the pastor speak, I needed a wake-up call. I have been asleep for far too long!

And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. (Romans 13:11)

Please pray for me as I begin to once again flex the muscles of faith and to take up the full armor of God which has been neglected too long.

(Ephesians 6:12, 13; I Peter 5:8)

I'm linking up with Michelle at Graceful again today.

6 comments:

Brenda said...

God is so faithful. It is hard feeling like that. Praise The Lord for His ears,heart and answered prayer. I understand more will lift you up.
Love b

Big Fat Mama! said...

Sounds like we were in the same place yesterday and God was with both of us. :) I've been praying scripture a lot lately and love how much more I draw closer to God when I pray scripture. Hope you'll link up one of your favorite posts with me this Wed. night/Thursday!

Connie@raise your eyes said...

I love how GOD spoke to your heart that you didn't have to wait for people to greet you--you could be the one to initiate a greeting...

Michelle DeRusha@Graceful said...

I've done the exact same thing: bemoan my lonliness, have a bit of a pity party for myself...and then realize suddenly that I was a guilty as everyone else in not reaching out. I love when God speaks to me so directly through His word or through the sermon in church -- I often need a firm wake-up!

Allen and Rita Smith said...

That is the one thing I love most about my church. If someone says good morning to me once I hear it a 1000 times. That is one of the reasons I started going there. Everyone was so friendly to me, a stranger among their midst.

Anonymous said...

In my old age, I have come to realize that most of the time the stranger is looking back at me from my mirror. I need to be studying the Bible more, like I did when I was teaching the older teens. I had one student that would always ask a question he thought I couldn't answer. Sometimes it taken me a week to find the answer but it was always there. Just as God is always there. Aunt Fran