It always seems to take me by total surprise...the RRRIIIPP that occurs when a band aid is removed from old wounds.
It seems to come out of the blue really. A comment from a friend. A question from a relative. Or maybe even a statement made by a total stranger.
But along with the revealing comes pain. That is always the same.
A couple of weeks back, my sister ripped off the bandage from a very old wound with a question that took my breath away. I couldn't even form a response for several moments...it seemed like an eternity at the time.
I was stunned...and surprised...because I thought I had found healing in that area. It sent me reeling, begging the Father to reveal the truth to me.
I struggled for almost two weeks...wrestling over the reason for the intense pain.
And then on Thursday night, as my mind was overwhelmed with the pain and my body couldn't find sleep; I felt an answer come in the wellspring of my heart. "It is true that some of this pain is from a deep wounding that hasn't completely healed, but most of it is now a scar. Just as I still bear the scars of the cross, you still bear the scars of this."
I soon feel asleep as I thanked the Lord for His willingness to bear the scars of Golgotha for me and as I asked Him to bring deep healing to the wounds as only He can.
Then on Friday morning, as I read through the day's Scriptures, I came across this:
"(Jesus)...healed their diseased bodies, healed their hurt and bruised lives." Matthew 9 from the Message
I felt the Lord telling me that not only do the open wounds hurt when they are uncovered, but sometimes when we stare at our scars...all we can see is the ugliness and remember the pain that caused them. That was what I had been doing since my sister's question. I had been staring at the scars and feeling again the pain that accompanied them.
And then I read this quote from a friend's Facebook page:
Never be ashamed of the scars that life has left you with. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed, you endured the pain, and God has healed you.
As I allowed my eyes to take in the whole picture, the ragged edges of the scar became less noticeable and I was reminded that the scar was not only a testimony to the goodness of God, but also was part of what made me into the person that I am today.
Do I wish this wounding had never happened? You bet! But this is where I have to choose to walk by faith and not by sight. Trusting that this wounding hurt Him as much as it did me...and that He is able to redeem it and make it (and me) into something beautiful indeed!
I've edited this post to include Michelle's "Hear It On Sunday. Use It On Monday" link. Visit her webpage to see what other's around the blogosphere are sharing.
1 year ago