What's On My Nightstand: May

I can hardly believe that a month has passed since I last posted a picture of my nightstand. Since I have only cleared out one of the books mentioned last month and I have also already told you about the new books I purchased when I fell off the wagon...I won't bore you with the same ole, same ole.

Earlier this month I read 'A Wrinkle In Time'. And though I liked it, it just wasn't as enchanting as the Narnia series. My favorite part of 'Wrinkle' was when Meg finally found her father and assumed that he would be able to make everything "all better". She thought that if only her father were around, she would not have to be brave or to be responsible for her little brother's safety.

How many times have I thought that "if only ____ then I would ______"? If only we had more money, then we wouldn't have to worry anymore. If only we had a certain thing, we would have it made. If only an ideal circumstance would occur, we would all be happy.

Years ago I heard a preacher on the radio (I can't remember who) talking about Philippians 4:8. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

The thing that stuck with me (and that I have repeated several times to friends and family) is that "if only" is not true...therefore, I shouldn't be thinking on it. Yet, I do...time and time again.

Meg says to her father, "I wanted you to do it all for me. I wanted everything to be all easy and simple...So I tried to pretend that it was all your fault...because I was scared, and I didn't want to have to do anything myself"

Meg found out that she was still responsible to do what she had to do. She learned that as much as her father loved her and wanted to keep her from any danger, there were things that only she could accomplish. It didn't make her father any less strong, loving or concerned...it was just her burden to bear.

Having been married for nearly 29 years now, I don't necessarily think of my dad each time I am afraid or overwhelmed...but I do often want Jim to rescue me. Yet there are some things that are just my burden to bear. It doesn't mean his love for me is not genuine or that he doesn't care about my safety...it is just that he has to watch me struggle at times until I get up the nerve to do what I know I need to do.

I know it is not easy, because it is not easy for me to watch him (or one of the kids) caught up in that struggle.

So, this is the truth that I want to remember and to take with me from "Wrinkle". No one can take my place in the journey that the Lord has planned for me...especially the hard parts. It will not always be easy or simple and there will be things that no one can do for me but that I will have to do myself. But, I can trust my heavenly Father to journey with me.